★ weekly thoughts, #034 ★
(2/8/26-2/14-26)
what’s included in this post: collage & a lotta running list additions / 1 movie / 1 book / 2 tv shows
Head empty heart numb, aka I want to stop talking about feeling bad more than I even want to stop feeling bad, because it’s boring and very #cringe….. as Jemima Kirke said I think you are thinking about yourself too much, and as a random twitter poet said (included in collage) don’t ponder yourself into stagnation, so instead of a what i’ve been thinking about section, we’re doing….
⋆。°✩ what i added to some of the various running lists that live in my notes app this week ⋆。°✩
“art(ists) / names / etc. to look up masterlist” ((links added for the sake of the blog))
★ Miguel Adrover (especially when modeling his designs/self portraiture)
★ A mural of a forest in the South Bronx. New York, USA, 1983 Thomas Hoepker
★ bodegon; a spanish baroque style of still life painting
★ superman and batman by Ashley Wood , joker & two-face by j.e. larson
★ Slow Dance by Kerry James Marshall
★ Women Holding Things by Maira Kaplan
★I am obsessed with this lookbook of ABODI Transylvania’s new wearable art collection, “The Chronicles,” shot and art directed by the goat Szilvezter Makó.
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“vampire novel notes”
★ the sanctity of randomness
★ when i have gone a while without ingesting blood, my veins begin to stand out on my skin, skin which you become aware of as a translucent thing. the act of death that i live to stave off causes the veins to harden and darken, then, causes the blood flow to stagger and everything to atrophy, allowing rigor mortis to grab tight.
★ other beings to run into: kuntilanak or pontianak — indonesian/malaysian vengeful spirit of woman who died in childbirth, angry female spirit, white lady in myth, long hair, attacked men for revenge, sound of crying baby and smell of decaying corpse or plumeria flower . described as VAMPIRIC, red eyes pale skin long dark hair ;; good connector is EYE CONTACT with estrie and with kuntilanak ; indonesian version is very similar to estrie, can seek out revenge against men or hunt virgin women / other to include: CIA fabricated vampire myth in philippines in 1950s to quell leftist movement
★ the rich soil of my youth is reflected in the living death of my hair. —- opening line? — but its multi toned texture catches glints of light in ways the earth simply absorbs.
★(note - teraphim is translated as plural of idols and later was used to brand vampires. could relate somehow to seraphim, use of language, oppose the concept idea that there’s some difference between myth and religion and folklore
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“cursed biopic castings (fuck biopics) — some started as lol / are bad casting ideas, some might actually work”
((not items i added this week, this has just been growing for so long that i figured why not include))
jonah hill as orson wells ★ macaulay culkin as thom yorke ★ sissy spacek as joan didion ★ tilda swinton as david bowie ★ joshua henry as sidney poitier ★ alison stoner as agnes varda ★ maika monroe as gwen stefani ★ saoirse ronan as lesley gore ★ taylor russell as brandi quinones (voice/intonation!) ★ thomasin mackenzie as jodie foster ★ reeve carney as damon alburn ★ matthew gray gubler as john waters ★ pedro pascal as burt reynolds ★ paul rudd as werner herzog ★ eric bogosian as anthony bourdain and/or elliott gould ★ luke kirby as jonathan anderson (loewe) ★ jeremy allen white as gene wilder ★ ebon moss-bachrach as dave portnoy ★ kathy kiera clarke as marina abramavic ★ glenn howerton as jack schlossberg (i know i know ) ★ matthew lillard as steve-o ★ lorraine toussaint as toni morrison ★ jacob anderson as quincy jones ★ james woods as roy schneider ★ alanna ubach as lisa rinna
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“tattoos & piercings to do list”
★ tragus piercing
★ mitski “i will” script tat on thigh under *****
★ for tree of life tattoo — also work in from parents ketubah
⋆。°✩ movies ⋆。°✩
★ CERTAIN WOMEN, directed by Kelly Reichardt and written by Reichardt & Maile Meloy ★
This was slow, but by slow I mean reflective, and by reflective I mean meandering, thoughtful, watchful. I really liked the pace actually, especially in light of the anthology format; there was a real majesty afforded to stillness and simple mundanity, to each location and place in time, that I found really beautiful. The space was given significance next to the significance given to the people. I loved how often people were framed behind or next to or through windows so that the landscape was reflected over their face and how, again, reflective that choice allowed me to think about the life we were being shown. Really really beautifully shot, I found this to be visually so open in a way that opposed so amazingly how claustrophobic the stories and lives themselves felt, making the lives feel more open, too — by claustrophobic I mean more that the smallness wasn’t pushed to the side, but neither was it belittling. Life was allowed to be small in ways that I just found really soft and nice and telling, and the smallness wasn’t akin to hesitance or fear, though maybe gave way to feeling stuck or stalled. I liked that the camera followed people’s hands or feet, following their action, just as often as it followed or emphasized their faces. Lily Gladstone is such a standout, so open yet hidden where she isn’t offering things up immediately but neither is she hiding any emotion or desire. She’s so good!!!! I never knew how bad I needed Lily Gladstone/Kristen Stewart. Just.. woah. As good as everyone says it is.
⋆。°✩ books ⋆。°✩
★ THE ONLY GOOD INDIANS by Stephen Graham Jones
“Terror? Is that what too much joy and surprise can ball up into, when it comes at you all once?”
Wow this was fun! I really liked the run on writing style, I thought it worked really well to bring you into the characters without being hokey or annoying. I loved the way the horror creeped in and the devastating sadness everything held, where nothing felt fair even when balanced. I didn’t fully love the last third of the book just because I like when my retribution is given to people who understand why they’re on the receiving end of said retribution, but I also found the chaotic melee and the sweat and the basketball game to all be so great at getting me on the edge of my seat so that’s fine. Sorry but I found this really really sad!!!
⋆。°✩ tv ⋆。°✩
INDUSTRY s2e5 — holy shit why was this episode so devastating.
SOPRANOS s6e1-4 — and we’ve been saying fuck junior. Sooo weird and liminal to hear James G speak without Tony’s accent. Sooo great and telling to show what’s going on through it all with Paulie and Vito and Sil.


